Saturday, March 17, 2007

Tired lion.

A very minor stormwatch is in effect for the duration of this post.

When I was in third grade, we used to go to the school library for an hour every tuesday before lunch. We would learn about things such as the Dewey Decimal System, Shelving things by alphabetical order, how to use reference books and the like.

Other times we would simply have free time to peruse the shelves to find a book we liked, to read and return on the next tuesday. It was through this time that I found and read many of what I feel are classic tales, such as Charlotte's Web, The Black Stallion, and many others that I really can't be bothered to think of and enumerate right now. I remember with vivid detail watching the old Charlotte's Web cartoon on CBS one night, with required public service announcement that advised us if we'd like to know more, to visit our local library. Sure enough, as it played on a Monday evening, Tuesday morning before lunch I was asking Ms. Watrous the librarian if she had a copy of that book.

I always liked Ms. Watrous. Her first name was Keith, and even though I figured she was wierd for having a boy's name, she was alright with me. I think she got me better than some parents I've had.

Anyway, I'm drifting.

One Tuesday morning, we had scheduled to watch a movie on the then-newfangled VCR the school had recently purchased. Now as this was library time, we would watch movies or animated cartoons

huh. As opposed to the non-animated cartoons one watches on tv. Right. Now back to your irregularly scheduled post.

based on literary works. This particular day in third grade, we were watching the animated version of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. I'd never seen or read this tale before, and I was instantly captivated, especially by (in my view) the hero of the story, one Aslan the lion. In this adaptation, Aslan was white, from nose to tail, symbolizing his herioc purity.

I loved him. He was wise, and fierce, and...a lion. What more could you ask for?

So on I watched, as some of the other children grew restless or bored, and chatted amongst themselves while the tale unfolded. I fell in love with this lion, and what in my mind he represented. Courage, wisom, and all of that.

Warning: spoiler ahead. How's that for netiquette?

The trouble began when Aslan Made a Deal. I didn't get it at first. Why was he laying down? Why did he let them shave him and tie him up and drag him to the stone table and embarass him. He was Mighty. He could wipe the floor with these guys. What is the White Witch doing with that...

...and then I fled the library, in tears. I didn't want to see it happen. I didn't want to lose him.

I missed school the next day, I was so distraught. I was teased and made fun of for crying, as boys aren't supposed to cry over dumb cartoons. And here's a secret for you: I NEVER went back, not to the cartoon, and not to the book, to find out what happened. Over twenty years from that day would pass before I learned what happened, and it was with MUCH trepidation that I went to see this tale on the big screen. I was thirty years old and scared to death to relive this moment.

But it turned out okay. And I would have known that twenty years earlier, had I just seen it through.

So it's been a long week. I've had a certain amount of upheaval, and later in the week I got hit in the face with a brick-sized piece of depression, the source of which I am not completely certain of. I'm battling through it, but sometimes it isn't easy. Today, for example, was spent curled up on the couch staring at my cottage-cheese ceilings and wondering just how many bumps were up there. It's times like these I develop a bad case of "Fuck it," and give up for a while.

But I can't do that anymore. I'll find a way to battle through. I can do this, I can beat this. All I have to do... see it through.


Post a Comment

<< Home