Sometimes it's hard...

...to be patient. To know that I'm feeling better, and that I have a clear mind, and an even clearer focus on what I want. It is a dangerous time for me, where I will be tempted to do more than I should.

But sometimes it's hard to be patient.

I know that it's best, in my head. That it isn't the right time yet for things to go as I'd like them to. I get frustrated and impatient, because as all proper lions are, I am very instant gratification oriented. I wants what I wants, and I wants it now!

And tho I long for those days to be now, I know that I need to be patient. That there is still work to be done, and healing to finish, and a dozen other miniscule matters that need attending to first.

I know I can take on the world, and tonight, I think I could win. No, and sorry gentler readers, but fuck that, tonight I know I could win.

But it's not time yet. I'm excited and excitable, and full of piss and vinegar and love and springtime and all that comes with it.

I tuned in, I turned on, I fought my way back from the dead...
-Edwin McCain

I've missed out on so many oppurtunities in life that I worry now for them, I worry that I need to make a move now, quickly, but it's far too soon. I'm afraid I'll miss another one, and that all this fighting will have been for nothing. I'm jumpy and anxious and wanting to get on to the next phase of my life. I want it, I want it all, and I want it now.

Except it's not time yet. If anything, I do have enough wisdom to recognize that.

But it's still sometimes hard to be patient.